every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
