hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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