nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
