There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love having hate sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
