how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
