I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
