Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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