Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
