I just made out with a guy for $7.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
