I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
