my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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