Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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