Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i need some magic done to my vagina
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
