I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
