is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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