Don't you send me to vm
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
