Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
