every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
