Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
