i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
