last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
