just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
