You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
