clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
