Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
