The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
