No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
