I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
