absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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