worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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