I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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