I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
