do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
