I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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