Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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