Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
