you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
