she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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