They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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