shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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