Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
