Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
