I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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