You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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