Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
