Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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