just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
