dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
