Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Who died my cat blue again?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
