just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
