She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am available for nakedness
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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